need a little inspiration

Things have been a little rough around here lately. This song came up on my ipod the other day and I had practically forgotten about. Hope it brightens you day like it did mine. Dream Big ~Milly

promotion

DH just made captain! That means we have 4 years of military life under our belt (plus a few more during ROTC in college). I was feeling pretty accomplished that we have made it this far. I think 4 years is a pretty long time. There were definitely some rough, rough times. Times when I wasn't sure if our marriage (mostly me) could handle the stress, the separation, the single parenting and the loneliness.

You might not agree with this, but I feel like the military spouse gets more of the "bad" part of military life without as much "good". Another way to put it is that we have the "guts" but don't get the "glory". We put up with the lifestyle, but I don't get the promotion or instant friends when we move or the chance to travel all over the world flying an amazing aircraft. This has been a real struggle for me, but somehow we have over come these challenges and I can honestly say that we are happy and feel blessed. It's a good thing we have reached this point, because we still have 8 years left until DH's commitment is up. Hmm... maybe 4 years doesn't seem like that long after all. Isn't it funny how it is so easy to let something good and exciting be overshadowed by other things.

I am so happy that DH works hard to provide for our family and that he loves (most days) his job. We are happy to have a captain in the house! Now we just have to figure out what's going on with the promotion party. Any ideas, tips, traditions, or suggestions about promotion parties you want to share? I would LOVE to hear them.

Happy Memorial Day

Since I have returned to America to live with my parents during the hubs deployment I have sort of been off the map. E-mails have taken months to return, blogs have gone abandoned, but today I thought about our military family and couldn't pass up an opportunity to wish everyone a happy Memorial Day.

Isn't it amazing how holidays like Memorial Day have so much more meaning now that we are warrior wives. Like many others, prior to my military life, I know I thought more about the day off than the meaning behind it. Today I think about the men and women who died to keep me free and I also think about the wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters who lost them.

I have become increasingly grateful for military life and the fact that it has made me a better American, more aware of the prices that are paid for my freedom and the soldiers and families that pay that price day in day out, year after year.

Since I have been away from bases and military life I find myself searching for a Marine Corp bumper sticker, support our troops ribbon or an American flag and when I find it I want to honk at the car in front of me or search in the store for the owner of the Army Mom car sticker and thank them, but I sort of frown upon freaking people out and I just have a feel good moment inside myself knowing that there are good Americans all around this Country supporting us and those little acts of patriotism validate my husbandless pregnancy, our single parenthood and the fallen but not forgotten.

Happy Memorial Day friends, God bless our fallen soldiers and their families.

a little pick me up

"Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness." ~Ayn Rand

Last week felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. This quote helped get me through. I have recently become a big fan of Ayn Rand (click here to find out more about Rand) and this quote helps me rethink life and get going on bad days. Discovering what makes me happy and really setting out to get it, is a fight, at least for me. If I don't stand up for myself, who will? What helps get you through rough times and most importantly what makes you happy?

Hope you have a happy week!

What's your challenge?

What's your biggest challenge when your loved one is on the road? I read this blog post by Household 6 Diva, an army wife whose husband is currently deployed. She writes that her biggest challenge when her husband is deployed is asking for help. I have to admit that I am right there with her. I will ask for help, but only when I have NO other option. Since DH is on the road so much, I feel like I have to save those favors so I can cache them in when I really need to. If you have a few extra minutes give the post a quick read, I bet you will be surprised just how much you can relate.

Well we have been silent for a long time. It's not that I haven't thought about writing dozens of times, it's just that somehow, there isn't any follow through. I wanted to tell you about:

Raising warrior children and LB's birthday

How my airman spends time in Germany and that I was so sad and scared to hear about the shootings there

My revelation that it's OK that DH isn't the man I fell in love with, because I'm not the girl he fell in love with either

Libby being amazing and inspiring to send her husband off on a deployment while preggers

and the list goes on, but it seems that logging in with a different user name and password is enough effort to deter me. I know pretty pathetic right. So I'm gonna make an attempt to be better. I'm not making any promises, but really I think I can do at least a little better. Until then I hope this little forward about parenthood get's you laughing. It did me.



11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

by Amy Lawrence on Tuesday, January 4, 2011 at 9:24am
Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player. (Milly here:I am pretty sure I have quarters and a library card in mine :)
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Warrior Wives

I don't know if Dr. Laura coined the term "warrior wife," but I like it, it sounds strong, commanding, like a woman who can withstand anything. In her book, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms," she gave this title to women like us, military wives, wives of policemen, firemen, etc. who don't necessarily know when or if their husbands will be home each evening for, "company, love, reassurance, and a break..."

Well, calling yourself a warrior wife and actually being one are two very different things aren't they? These days with the hormones of a second pregnancy, my husbands pending deployment and the realization that he will be far away when his little boy or girl is born leaves me feeling more like a wimpy wife than a warrior one.

Dr. Laura goes on to say, "You warrior wives have to dig deep inside to find the strength to be independent without being bitter. Where you have extended families, 'fellow' wives, or church groups to be helpful-accept the help!"

I find the things that make me feel less wimpy and more warrior like are: other warrior wives, supportive family, going to church, serving others, counting my blessings, looking for the positives in a situation...even if I have to make them up at first, eventually I start believing them and the inner warrior wife starts to make its way to the surface. These things are simple, very Pollyanaesk, but they work.

In the end, I think I just appreciated a small bit of recognition in a book from a smart lady who cared enough to vindicate that our lives can be "especially difficult." But who also encourages us to earn the title of "warrior wife" and push through the pain and bitterness and accept help and I think more importantly offer help. We are all in this together-let that warrior out wifeys!