How do your spend you life?

The first time I read this quote I was in Graduate School.  I was dreading my days. I was waking up early to make the commute to school and getting home late and exhausted.  I didn't love the program and I didn't love my major professor.  I had so much experience from my undergrad, I felt like grad school wasn't as challenging and that my professor just didn't have confidence in me.  When I read this quote it just hit my soul.  I was not happy spending my days in dread.  Sneaking out the back stairs so that I didn't have to walk past his office is well, immature and really sad. 

After much debate and fear, I talked with my professor and told him I would not be returning for the following semester.  I was walking away from an assistantship that was paying for my tuition and my even paying me for my work.  I felt disappointed in myself for quitting.  The worst part was that I quite with no where else to go- no other job, no grand plans.  I just knew that I wasn't happy and I didn't want my days to add up to a life of unhappiness.  I feel blessed that I was brave enough to do what I needed to do to be happy.  Sometimes doing what makes us happy is the hardest thing.

Our last days together as a family were not carefully orchestrated.  There was no time for the special plans we had made now.  DH was not deployable. So instead of spending time together doing special activites, DH hacked away at his check list.  One night we stayed up late working on our wills.  Another night it was a lesson in banking and bill paying.  Because we only had such a short amount of time to prepare, we didn't dwell on daddy's departure much with the kids.  (We had mentioned earlier to LB that daddy would be leaving for a long time to fly his plane).  Instead we went about our lives just like we always do.  We went to play groups, ran errands, and followed our routines.   

Our little family did manage to take a quick road trip right before DH left- something that isn't too out of the ordinary for us.  As we were driving down beautiful Highway 1 in Northern California, the quote returned to my always busy mind.  I actually chuckled out loud as the quote came back to me.  We were spending our days just as we always do.  In that moment I felt so blessed.  My life is so sweet and full that we did not have to do anything amazing and grand.  What we do everyday, was indeed, the best way to spend out last days together.  This time the quote was a comfort and a reassurance.  I am spending my days filled with family, work, laughter, and dedication.  Although it is not grand, this is indeed how I want to spend my life and how blessed am I that we are on the right track.   

PS we did manage to have a special celebration with DH before he left.  We had a cupcake made for every major celebration he would miss out on.  The kids loved- I think we all did.

Start Where You Are

I am back! I wish I could say and better than ever, but a girl's gotta be realistic right. Things sure have changed since I last blogged, it has been YEARS after all. Let's see- my little family added a sweet little girl, we moved from the East Coast to the West Coast, DH flies a new plane and is currently deployed. My dear friend Libby welcomed her sweet little boy while her DH was deployed. They have since moved back to the States are have separated from the military. That's right folks, they just plan old civilians now. 

 Instead of frantically trying to play catch up, I am going to pick up like we didn't miss a beat. (Although I did in fact miss you and spent lots of hours thinking about blogs, but never managed to write them down.) So lets get right to the title of my post. I came across this thought a little bit ago and it just stuck with me. I have been trying to get myself and my family on a healthier path. I think one of the hardest things in life is starting-starting to exercise, starting to eat better, starting to prepare for a deployment. Its hard to take the leap of faith or make the commitment to ourselves or our families. 

DH was scheduled for a 6 month deployment this summer. We began to talk about plans and ask for suggestions from friends, but we hadn't actually accomplishing things. Then, BAM, with the click of an email we had 2 weeks notice that DH was headed out. Blah- so much for heading into our 1st deployment prepared. Today the path might seem hard and long, we might be dragging our feet start the journey, but we never ever know what new challenges will be waiting for us tomorrow. We never know how much time we will get to prepare or to accomplish our goals.  What ever it is that you want in your heart- start today, start right now! 

 Hope you will read along and I write (maybe vent a little too) about the challenges and blessings of our first deployment. I took this photo in the Coast Redwoods in California.

~Milly

need a little inspiration

Things have been a little rough around here lately. This song came up on my ipod the other day and I had practically forgotten about. Hope it brightens you day like it did mine. Dream Big ~Milly

promotion

DH just made captain! That means we have 4 years of military life under our belt (plus a few more during ROTC in college). I was feeling pretty accomplished that we have made it this far. I think 4 years is a pretty long time. There were definitely some rough, rough times. Times when I wasn't sure if our marriage (mostly me) could handle the stress, the separation, the single parenting and the loneliness.

You might not agree with this, but I feel like the military spouse gets more of the "bad" part of military life without as much "good". Another way to put it is that we have the "guts" but don't get the "glory". We put up with the lifestyle, but I don't get the promotion or instant friends when we move or the chance to travel all over the world flying an amazing aircraft. This has been a real struggle for me, but somehow we have over come these challenges and I can honestly say that we are happy and feel blessed. It's a good thing we have reached this point, because we still have 8 years left until DH's commitment is up. Hmm... maybe 4 years doesn't seem like that long after all. Isn't it funny how it is so easy to let something good and exciting be overshadowed by other things.

I am so happy that DH works hard to provide for our family and that he loves (most days) his job. We are happy to have a captain in the house! Now we just have to figure out what's going on with the promotion party. Any ideas, tips, traditions, or suggestions about promotion parties you want to share? I would LOVE to hear them.

Happy Memorial Day

Since I have returned to America to live with my parents during the hubs deployment I have sort of been off the map. E-mails have taken months to return, blogs have gone abandoned, but today I thought about our military family and couldn't pass up an opportunity to wish everyone a happy Memorial Day.

Isn't it amazing how holidays like Memorial Day have so much more meaning now that we are warrior wives. Like many others, prior to my military life, I know I thought more about the day off than the meaning behind it. Today I think about the men and women who died to keep me free and I also think about the wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters who lost them.

I have become increasingly grateful for military life and the fact that it has made me a better American, more aware of the prices that are paid for my freedom and the soldiers and families that pay that price day in day out, year after year.

Since I have been away from bases and military life I find myself searching for a Marine Corp bumper sticker, support our troops ribbon or an American flag and when I find it I want to honk at the car in front of me or search in the store for the owner of the Army Mom car sticker and thank them, but I sort of frown upon freaking people out and I just have a feel good moment inside myself knowing that there are good Americans all around this Country supporting us and those little acts of patriotism validate my husbandless pregnancy, our single parenthood and the fallen but not forgotten.

Happy Memorial Day friends, God bless our fallen soldiers and their families.

a little pick me up

"Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness." ~Ayn Rand

Last week felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. This quote helped get me through. I have recently become a big fan of Ayn Rand (click here to find out more about Rand) and this quote helps me rethink life and get going on bad days. Discovering what makes me happy and really setting out to get it, is a fight, at least for me. If I don't stand up for myself, who will? What helps get you through rough times and most importantly what makes you happy?

Hope you have a happy week!

What's your challenge?

What's your biggest challenge when your loved one is on the road? I read this blog post by Household 6 Diva, an army wife whose husband is currently deployed. She writes that her biggest challenge when her husband is deployed is asking for help. I have to admit that I am right there with her. I will ask for help, but only when I have NO other option. Since DH is on the road so much, I feel like I have to save those favors so I can cache them in when I really need to. If you have a few extra minutes give the post a quick read, I bet you will be surprised just how much you can relate.