Should I stay or should I go?

Asking military wives what they do during a deployment is as loaded of a question as asking about childbirth.  Everyone has an opinion and a strong one at that.  Recently, I was reading a very long Facebook thread (remember everyone has an opinion) about this exact topic.  Of course, I have an opinion too.  Since this is my blog, you are about to hear my opnion.  It's a long one, so hold on tight!

There are a lot of factors to consider when deciding what to do- in fact the deciding might be the hardest part of the pre-deployment stress.  I would like to talk about the two most common remarks posted.  One was that women prefer to stay near their military family because they say that their military family was more understanding.  The second issue was keeping life consistent (if that's possible) for their kids.  I agreed with a lot of the statements and arguements made, but there were a few ideas that peeked my interest.  I like to believe the best in everyone and I hope this post will help ease the stress of deployment decisions for wives.

When I am at home and I bump into someone, I always end up saying, "oh we are staying with my parents for a while because my husband is deployed".  I hate, hate, hate hearing these two responses:

"It's not that long...."

and

"It could be worse....."

I understand that, in their hearts, they mean well.  They believe that these are words of comfort and hope.  They are not.  I tell myself these things every-single-day.  I know it isn't that long and I know it could be worse.  They do not know that.  They are not in my shoes and they have no idea about the struggles in my life.  Chances are, their babies have never gone more than a week or two without hugs from their dads.  Please do not, I repeat, do not say these words.  Perhaps it is encounters like this that make us wives squirm at the idea of leaving our military station.   

There are words that are nice and comforting.  I like to hear things like:

"Thank you for your family's service and sacrifice."

 or

"That's tough, what can I do help you out."

What about the children.  There was a lot of talk about keeping life consistent for the kids as a reason to stay at the current duty station.  I say, lets be honest with our kids.  Life is NOT the same.  It's not the same for me and it's not the same for them, when DH is deployed.  There is no sense in pretending that it is.  Let's accept that life is different and learn to find happiness in it.  My children are young, but they understand a great deal.  I have faith that they will rise above these challenges and that their lives' experiences will give them wisdom beyond their years.  

Let's be kind with our words to everyone- military wives too.  I saw a wife post that the deployment was "really a very short one".  Why, why say these things?  It doesn't feel short when you are trudging through it.  Another woman wrote, "you are young, better to get used to it now."  I don't like the idea of be miserable now, so you are less miserable later, do you?  I have seen wives wear their, "I toughed it out by myself" badge of honor.  No thanks there, I don't have anything to prove to anyone. There has got to be a better way.

 I believe the way is to speak words of kindness or no words at all.  What works for my family, just might not work for your family.  Lets do a better job of honoring peoples decisions and supporting them.  The final comment I added to the thread was, "Think about what will make you happy.  Your children will be happiest if their mom is too."  So whatever the decision is, be happy in it.  Life is hard enough, lets not make it harder on ourselves or anyone else.

Many blessings to my friends with deployed spouses.  



        
   

The Happiest Mother's Day

Exploring the wide open country on our breakfast break.

With DH deployed, I knew that Mother's Day wasn't going to be anything fantastic.  That's just life and that's no big deal.  I didn't really know what my Mother's Day would be like.  I had planned to come home to visit my family for the summer, but after DH's deployment was moved up significantly, I didn't have any specific date picked.  I knew that packing myself, my kids, and  my dog into our truck for a 12+ hour drive was going to be a feat.  Not to mention the fact that I would have to get the house all taken care of in a state to be left for a few months.  This might not sound that challenging to you, but for a single mom with a 1 year old who undoes all your doing, a challenge it is.

I decided to look over the calendar and just pick a day and go for it.  I saw that there was a "Give Parents a Break" scheduled for the Saturday before Mother's Day.  Give Parents a Break is one of the most beneficial resourses for someone with a deployed spouse, it's my saving grace some months.  It's 6 hours of free childcare provided once a month at the child development center on base.  I decided this was my answer to how I was going to get it all done.  I would pack, clean, and run errands on Saturday while the kids were playing and then Sunday morning (Mother's Day) we would hit the road.

I worked hard to be a prepared momma.  I didn't want the trip to be a nightmare. We picked out special snacks and games for the trip.  I made and sorted out all 3 meals, packed snacks in little bags, and rounded up road games, and maps to look at.  I knew that my 4 year old would be easily entertained with technology, but I try not to rely on that.  I want him to look around and experience the beauty of the world and the adventure of the road trip.  I was much more concerned about my sweet and sassy little girl.  I loaded a bag with little toys I could just keep handing back over the seat and I box of tissues for her to pull out when I was desperate.

Inevitably it was 10:00 pm on Saturday night and everything still wasn't done.  My little lady was finally asleep, but LB was still up.  I was pretty exhausted from the non-stop day, but my LB was such a trooper.  He was tired-eyed, but still happy.  He helped me carry the last things into the night and pack them into the truck.  My heart was so full to see my happy little helper trucking along.  It is one of the happiest moments I have had as a mother.  Seeing him help someone else and genuinely care, just melts my heart.  It was a small but sweet reasurrance that somewhere along the way he was learning what I was trying to teach him.  I was doing something right.  My children can grow up to be anything in the entire world that they want (or out of this world- LB is set on being Buzz Light Year), but what I want for them it is to be genuinely good people- that's it.  When I saw that unprompted goodness in him, it made my Mother's Day.

After most of the things were loaded, we came inside and he "surprised" me with a cute little card he made a preschool.  He gave me the best hug and told me that he loved me.  It was the only thing I got for Mother's Day and it was the best.

At 4:30 am I got up finished loading the truck with kids, coolers, and a dog, and we hit the road by 5:00 am.  We ate, sang, danced, and even cried our way out of California, across Nevada, through Utah and finally into Idaho.  There are moments in life when I doubt my decisions, but as we rolled in the valley where I grew up, I knew in my heart, that I had made the right decision for my little family.  It was such a fun Mother's Day with just me and my kids (and I got to see my own mom too).  Was it a lot of work?  Well yes it was, but so is motherhood.  I believe that work and happiness go hand in hand.  It wasn't my best  Mother's Day, but it was my happiest. 

PS: DH pulled through and surprised me with flowers in Idaho.  He's a genuinely good person too.   

     

Not That Different

We're not that different, you and me.  For the last week I have thought that hundreds of times.  Everyone has something in common.  We all want to be loved, accepted, and appreciated.  This last week I have felt surprisingly alone and different from everyone else.  (Let me tell ya, with DH deployed and my 2 adorable kids, I am never alone- not even a trip to the bathroom). 

As some of you know, maybe not too many because the media doesn't report much about lives lost in the military,  there have been 3 airplane crashes in the last week in the Middle East.  DH flies the same type of air craft that was the first to crash.  He was, in fact, flying at the exact same time that the plane went down.  Thankfully, he was safe and hopefully able to help get crews to the sight of the crash more quickly.  I waited as patiently as I could for the names to be released.  I sent and received a few messages from dear military friends saying, "Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you and praying for your family."  Its a strange thing to do.  Of course, I want to show love and support but I don't want to sound like I am searching for information- which I am not.  I fully understand and appreciate the importance of families being notified in person.  I felt so alone, because I for some reason thought many people would be as concerned as I was. 

I now realize that while this event was consuming my time, it wasn't really mentioned in the media, so of course it's hard for people to show support when they know nothing.  I fully understand that DH is at war.  He is living and flying in a combat zone.  So maybe you are wondering why I am so surprised and upset when planes crash and lives are lost.  I, like you, operate under the sense that my husband is safe- that at the end of the 6 months he will come home and still be himself.  How could I live otherwise?  Can you imagine what kind of life it would be to be consumed with worry and fear?    My husband worked with these men in the same building.  What does your husband do?  Lets say he is an attorney.  He works with many people at his law firm.  Lets say he had a court date and so did another attorney from his office at a different location.  If something happened at the other courthouse, and the co-worker never came home, surely your heart would simply be broken.  You would morn for the loss of the other family and be so humbled and grateful that your husband had been spared.  That's how miliatry wives feel too (well at least this one).  Our husbands go to work, leave on deployments, and we absolutely assume that they will come home safe.  

My dad called that evening and as we talked he figured that I had been busy with people checking in to see how we are doing and to make sure DH was safe.  The answer was no, not busy at all.  Only a handful of military friends had made contact with me.   That was the part that I didn't understand, how could people not know that I just needed someone to ask if I was okay too.  The lesson that I have learned from this is that we are the same- me and you.  Just because I show up with a smiling face the next day doesn't mean that I don't need to hear kind words of love.  It might feel awkward, but do not let that deter you. Unfortunately another Air Force plane has crashed.  You better believe that I went through I list of everyone I knew that had been associated with that air craft and sent them a simple "just thinking of you" message.  After all, don't we just want to know that we are loved and appreciated, that the sacrifice my husband and my family makes does not go unnoticed?  

My heart and prayers go out to all those military men and women whose lives have been lost serving our country, especially those who were recently killed in action in.  They lost their lives, and their loved ones lost the life they once knew.  

Capt Cyr's Dignified Transer via AFMAO website

If you would like to read more about our service men and women who gave all, here are a few links:

The Department of Defense Official News Releases- This website lists the names of causualties from all branches of service

Information about the crew of the KC-135 Crash

Photos from the MC-12 Memorial

How do your spend you life?

The first time I read this quote I was in Graduate School.  I was dreading my days. I was waking up early to make the commute to school and getting home late and exhausted.  I didn't love the program and I didn't love my major professor.  I had so much experience from my undergrad, I felt like grad school wasn't as challenging and that my professor just didn't have confidence in me.  When I read this quote it just hit my soul.  I was not happy spending my days in dread.  Sneaking out the back stairs so that I didn't have to walk past his office is well, immature and really sad. 

After much debate and fear, I talked with my professor and told him I would not be returning for the following semester.  I was walking away from an assistantship that was paying for my tuition and my even paying me for my work.  I felt disappointed in myself for quitting.  The worst part was that I quite with no where else to go- no other job, no grand plans.  I just knew that I wasn't happy and I didn't want my days to add up to a life of unhappiness.  I feel blessed that I was brave enough to do what I needed to do to be happy.  Sometimes doing what makes us happy is the hardest thing.

Our last days together as a family were not carefully orchestrated.  There was no time for the special plans we had made now.  DH was not deployable. So instead of spending time together doing special activites, DH hacked away at his check list.  One night we stayed up late working on our wills.  Another night it was a lesson in banking and bill paying.  Because we only had such a short amount of time to prepare, we didn't dwell on daddy's departure much with the kids.  (We had mentioned earlier to LB that daddy would be leaving for a long time to fly his plane).  Instead we went about our lives just like we always do.  We went to play groups, ran errands, and followed our routines.   

Our little family did manage to take a quick road trip right before DH left- something that isn't too out of the ordinary for us.  As we were driving down beautiful Highway 1 in Northern California, the quote returned to my always busy mind.  I actually chuckled out loud as the quote came back to me.  We were spending our days just as we always do.  In that moment I felt so blessed.  My life is so sweet and full that we did not have to do anything amazing and grand.  What we do everyday, was indeed, the best way to spend out last days together.  This time the quote was a comfort and a reassurance.  I am spending my days filled with family, work, laughter, and dedication.  Although it is not grand, this is indeed how I want to spend my life and how blessed am I that we are on the right track.   

PS we did manage to have a special celebration with DH before he left.  We had a cupcake made for every major celebration he would miss out on.  The kids loved- I think we all did.

Start Where You Are

I am back! I wish I could say and better than ever, but a girl's gotta be realistic right. Things sure have changed since I last blogged, it has been YEARS after all. Let's see- my little family added a sweet little girl, we moved from the East Coast to the West Coast, DH flies a new plane and is currently deployed. My dear friend Libby welcomed her sweet little boy while her DH was deployed. They have since moved back to the States are have separated from the military. That's right folks, they just plan old civilians now. 

 Instead of frantically trying to play catch up, I am going to pick up like we didn't miss a beat. (Although I did in fact miss you and spent lots of hours thinking about blogs, but never managed to write them down.) So lets get right to the title of my post. I came across this thought a little bit ago and it just stuck with me. I have been trying to get myself and my family on a healthier path. I think one of the hardest things in life is starting-starting to exercise, starting to eat better, starting to prepare for a deployment. Its hard to take the leap of faith or make the commitment to ourselves or our families. 

DH was scheduled for a 6 month deployment this summer. We began to talk about plans and ask for suggestions from friends, but we hadn't actually accomplishing things. Then, BAM, with the click of an email we had 2 weeks notice that DH was headed out. Blah- so much for heading into our 1st deployment prepared. Today the path might seem hard and long, we might be dragging our feet start the journey, but we never ever know what new challenges will be waiting for us tomorrow. We never know how much time we will get to prepare or to accomplish our goals.  What ever it is that you want in your heart- start today, start right now! 

 Hope you will read along and I write (maybe vent a little too) about the challenges and blessings of our first deployment. I took this photo in the Coast Redwoods in California.

~Milly

need a little inspiration

Things have been a little rough around here lately. This song came up on my ipod the other day and I had practically forgotten about. Hope it brightens you day like it did mine. Dream Big ~Milly

promotion

DH just made captain! That means we have 4 years of military life under our belt (plus a few more during ROTC in college). I was feeling pretty accomplished that we have made it this far. I think 4 years is a pretty long time. There were definitely some rough, rough times. Times when I wasn't sure if our marriage (mostly me) could handle the stress, the separation, the single parenting and the loneliness.

You might not agree with this, but I feel like the military spouse gets more of the "bad" part of military life without as much "good". Another way to put it is that we have the "guts" but don't get the "glory". We put up with the lifestyle, but I don't get the promotion or instant friends when we move or the chance to travel all over the world flying an amazing aircraft. This has been a real struggle for me, but somehow we have over come these challenges and I can honestly say that we are happy and feel blessed. It's a good thing we have reached this point, because we still have 8 years left until DH's commitment is up. Hmm... maybe 4 years doesn't seem like that long after all. Isn't it funny how it is so easy to let something good and exciting be overshadowed by other things.

I am so happy that DH works hard to provide for our family and that he loves (most days) his job. We are happy to have a captain in the house! Now we just have to figure out what's going on with the promotion party. Any ideas, tips, traditions, or suggestions about promotion parties you want to share? I would LOVE to hear them.

Happy Memorial Day

Since I have returned to America to live with my parents during the hubs deployment I have sort of been off the map. E-mails have taken months to return, blogs have gone abandoned, but today I thought about our military family and couldn't pass up an opportunity to wish everyone a happy Memorial Day.

Isn't it amazing how holidays like Memorial Day have so much more meaning now that we are warrior wives. Like many others, prior to my military life, I know I thought more about the day off than the meaning behind it. Today I think about the men and women who died to keep me free and I also think about the wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters who lost them.

I have become increasingly grateful for military life and the fact that it has made me a better American, more aware of the prices that are paid for my freedom and the soldiers and families that pay that price day in day out, year after year.

Since I have been away from bases and military life I find myself searching for a Marine Corp bumper sticker, support our troops ribbon or an American flag and when I find it I want to honk at the car in front of me or search in the store for the owner of the Army Mom car sticker and thank them, but I sort of frown upon freaking people out and I just have a feel good moment inside myself knowing that there are good Americans all around this Country supporting us and those little acts of patriotism validate my husbandless pregnancy, our single parenthood and the fallen but not forgotten.

Happy Memorial Day friends, God bless our fallen soldiers and their families.

a little pick me up

"Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness." ~Ayn Rand

Last week felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. This quote helped get me through. I have recently become a big fan of Ayn Rand (click here to find out more about Rand) and this quote helps me rethink life and get going on bad days. Discovering what makes me happy and really setting out to get it, is a fight, at least for me. If I don't stand up for myself, who will? What helps get you through rough times and most importantly what makes you happy?

Hope you have a happy week!

What's your challenge?

What's your biggest challenge when your loved one is on the road? I read this blog post by Household 6 Diva, an army wife whose husband is currently deployed. She writes that her biggest challenge when her husband is deployed is asking for help. I have to admit that I am right there with her. I will ask for help, but only when I have NO other option. Since DH is on the road so much, I feel like I have to save those favors so I can cache them in when I really need to. If you have a few extra minutes give the post a quick read, I bet you will be surprised just how much you can relate.

Well we have been silent for a long time. It's not that I haven't thought about writing dozens of times, it's just that somehow, there isn't any follow through. I wanted to tell you about:

Raising warrior children and LB's birthday

How my airman spends time in Germany and that I was so sad and scared to hear about the shootings there

My revelation that it's OK that DH isn't the man I fell in love with, because I'm not the girl he fell in love with either

Libby being amazing and inspiring to send her husband off on a deployment while preggers

and the list goes on, but it seems that logging in with a different user name and password is enough effort to deter me. I know pretty pathetic right. So I'm gonna make an attempt to be better. I'm not making any promises, but really I think I can do at least a little better. Until then I hope this little forward about parenthood get's you laughing. It did me.



11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

by Amy Lawrence on Tuesday, January 4, 2011 at 9:24am
Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player. (Milly here:I am pretty sure I have quarters and a library card in mine :)
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Warrior Wives

I don't know if Dr. Laura coined the term "warrior wife," but I like it, it sounds strong, commanding, like a woman who can withstand anything. In her book, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms," she gave this title to women like us, military wives, wives of policemen, firemen, etc. who don't necessarily know when or if their husbands will be home each evening for, "company, love, reassurance, and a break..."

Well, calling yourself a warrior wife and actually being one are two very different things aren't they? These days with the hormones of a second pregnancy, my husbands pending deployment and the realization that he will be far away when his little boy or girl is born leaves me feeling more like a wimpy wife than a warrior one.

Dr. Laura goes on to say, "You warrior wives have to dig deep inside to find the strength to be independent without being bitter. Where you have extended families, 'fellow' wives, or church groups to be helpful-accept the help!"

I find the things that make me feel less wimpy and more warrior like are: other warrior wives, supportive family, going to church, serving others, counting my blessings, looking for the positives in a situation...even if I have to make them up at first, eventually I start believing them and the inner warrior wife starts to make its way to the surface. These things are simple, very Pollyanaesk, but they work.

In the end, I think I just appreciated a small bit of recognition in a book from a smart lady who cared enough to vindicate that our lives can be "especially difficult." But who also encourages us to earn the title of "warrior wife" and push through the pain and bitterness and accept help and I think more importantly offer help. We are all in this together-let that warrior out wifeys!

How ya holdin' up?

It's the holidays- it's stressful. How are you holding up? I'm hanging in there, but only by a thread. I feel like my gift giving has been sub par this year. I haven't made any home made candies- which is a family tradition. I barely got Christmas cards out it security printed envelopes (I know super tacky) and I am typing this with a pile of tissues for my stuffy nose right by the laptop.

I'm gonna make a huge generalization, but I feel like holidays are extra hard on military families. Spouses, daddy's and mommy's are gone, and there usually isn't family right by to fill in the gap. DH got called out on a mission on Thanksgiving day, which ruined our Thanksgiving plans and our much needed 4 day weekend as a little family. I will admit that I might have been a teeny bit bitter when I thought how unfair it was that while most people were making preparations for family and friends to visit, we were making preparations for DH to leave. We held it together (barely) and DH was blessed with a short mission.

We are hoping, praying, wishing, and even asking Santa that DH will be here this Christmas. He has been working really, really long days, but he's here, so we are grateful for that. I can't help feel this sense of dread not knowing whether or not DH will be here. It really puts a damper on the holiday spirit. I hope that your loved ones will be home for the holidays. If their not, I hope your separated family is still surrounded with love, joy, and peace. I truly hope you are holding up ok. You will make it through and so will I. I know it, because it's our only option and we are strong enough to do it.

Happy Day of Thanks

I hope that your Thanksgiving is going to look like this.
And that your service member is home to join in on the celebrations.
If they aren't home, know that they are blessing lives everywhere and that I am grateful. Hope that you find a moment to feel grateful and moments filled with joy, even if your family isn't together. Happy Thanksgiving.

(all images are Norman Rockwell prints- he's one of my favorites)

Fisher House

Have you heard of the Fisher House? I didn't know about the organization until recently. A Fisher House recently opened at Dover Air Force Base for families of fallen soldiers who come to Dover Air Force Base to witness their loved one's dignified transfer.

Learn more about the Fisher House at http://www.fisherhouse.org and read about the Dover house here. Their purpose is to provide a "home away from home" for military families to be close to a loved one during hospitalization for an illness, disease or injury.

You can make a donation to this organization through the Combined Federal Campaign, so check them out if you are a government employee or if you want to learn about a great organization helping America's Military families.

Don't Quit

I ran across the "Don't Quit" poem again while I was reading one of my favorite books. I love the line in it that says, "And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far." Lately I have been feeling that success in certain areas of my life seems so far away, maybe you feel the same way about something in yours. This poem provided a good reminder that even though it may seem like we are walking on a treadmill uphill, just by walking the hill at all we are closer to the end than we realize. If we keep on moving on we have already won half the battle, if we quit, then we certainly don't win anything. So read the poem...and just don't quit.

DON'T QUIT

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit...

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

-Author Unknown

it's the thought.... right

A while back DH came home from work and proudly announced, "I got leave for August 9th and 10th."
He was waiting for a response when I finally said, "Ok, that's nice. What's going on then?"
"I got leave so we would actually be together on our anniversary this year."
"Uh, you know our anniversary is on August 13th right?"

In DH's defense all important dates in our family happen on a 9 or a 13, so he just got them mixed up. It really was thoughtful of him to make the effort to be together on our actual 5th anniversary.

Plus he totally surprised me with a 1 night get-a-way to NYC while his parents watched LB. This gave us a chance to see a Broadway show. I want to give a big shout out to New Jersey Transit who let all active duty military ride their rails for a discounted rate. This saved us around 50% on our train tickets into NYC. So next time you are headed to the city, and don't want to deal with traffic check out NJT.
Another shout out goes to the Museum of Art and Design on Columbus Circle. We were prepared to pay $15 per person to see an exhibit we had heard great things about. To our pleasant surprise, military personal and their families get in FREE. We ate dinner at their roof top restaurant with beautiful views of Broadway and Central Park. It never hurts to politely ask if there is any sort of military discount available. You just might be pleasantly surprised.

I always remember

While I was still lying in bed this morning, I was thinking about this exact day 9 years ago. It was a day that changed many lives and changed the course of United States History. For me, it was the day I changed from a 16 year old girl, into a young woman. As I evacuated the United States Capitol building that morning, I could see the smoke pouring out of the pentagon and into the sky. I felt uncertain as planes from Regan National Airport Circled above. Were they headed for the Capitol?

There was a moment among the chaos when I just stopped and looked as people ran down the Capitol steps. In that moment I saw the unbelievable look of horror in the eyes of some of those around me. That would not have been as shocking if it had been the eyes of my fellow classmates, but it was not, it was the eyes of adults. Adults who held powerful positions. The adults who ran our nation were terrified. This shocked me.

Bright and early the next morning my classmates and I made the trek back into Washington, DC to resume our duties as Senate Pages. This seemed natural since the Senate was in session, but upon arriving we realized that there were many who did not return to work that day. It was an honor to serve when my country needed me. I realized that the next few months of my life were going to be the hardest I had ever experienced. I would never again see the world through innocent child's eyes, but I would see the world with eyes that know neither age nor position make a human great. It is one's character, especially in times of stress, that makes a human great. I have never felt like a child since that day. I still pray for those who lost loves ones that day, you are not forgotten.




I promise to lighten up. I really am NOT this serious of a person. I have a few funny posts headed your way soon.

Put the Grills in the Bathroom, it's Typhoon Time

My husband always seems to be gone for the exciting things, Tuesday was no exception when a big typhoon was coming and he was TAD to Rhode Island. When wives are home alone it is easy to get out of the loop. In fact if it weren't for the fact that I got involved in a mommy work out group and the leader e-mailed that we might not have class on typhoon day I would have seen my bbq grill flying through the window before I knew what hit me, well, that probably wouldn't have happened, but you know what I mean.

On typhoon day three other single wives and two people from church were all in communication about the typhoon and wanted to make sure I had everything I needed and even offered a place to stay during the storm.

The point of this story is that sometimes when we move around so much it is easy to think, I'm sick of this putting myself out there crap, making new friends, joining new organizations, again, but it is worth it in the end. Because the relationships we make over and over become the very things that save us in our deployments, TADs, baby births, holidays, and maybe even save our windows from a bbq grill.

just a thought

I was driving off base the other day and saw a vinyl quote pasted across the back window of a minivan. It said, "Live a life worth their sacrifice." I thought, "whose sacrifice". Then I looked at the license plates which said USO. What a thought provoking statement. It definitely makes me want to live my life to the fullest, because I certainly am grateful for the sacrifices that our military families make.