DH just made captain! That means we have 4 years of military life under our belt (plus a few more during ROTC in college). I was feeling pretty accomplished that we have made it this far. I think 4 years is a pretty long time. There were definitely some rough, rough times. Times when I wasn't sure if our marriage (mostly me) could handle the stress, the separation, the single parenting and the loneliness.
You might not agree with this, but I feel like the military spouse gets more of the "bad" part of military life without as much "good". Another way to put it is that we have the "guts" but don't get the "glory". We put up with the lifestyle, but I don't get the promotion or instant friends when we move or the chance to travel all over the world flying an amazing aircraft. This has been a real struggle for me, but somehow we have over come these challenges and I can honestly say that we are happy and feel blessed. It's a good thing we have reached this point, because we still have 8 years left until DH's commitment is up. Hmm... maybe 4 years doesn't seem like that long after all. Isn't it funny how it is so easy to let something good and exciting be overshadowed by other things.
I am so happy that DH works hard to provide for our family and that he loves (most days) his job. We are happy to have a captain in the house! Now we just have to figure out what's going on with the promotion party. Any ideas, tips, traditions, or suggestions about promotion parties you want to share? I would LOVE to hear them.
I feel the same way about the guts but no glory side of being a military wife!! Se la vie, I think it's the life of most wives, especailly those who choose to stay at home with the kiddos. There's never any glory in keeping a house or raising kids. What they guys do miss out on, are the understated little glories at home. That first smile, that funny little instance that isn't as cute when you try to describe it but was delightful to watch, the one soccer game of the season a goal was scored . . . the boys miss those things, and they can never really be made up for on weekends or days off. The hard part of life for them is they love their kids as much as we do, but they will miss things they didn't want to miss. We both sacrifice to do what we do!
ReplyDeleteAs for the promotion party, my advice is to not go! Captains are typically in thier 20's, which means lots of guys who aren't married or settled yet, so it's a pitiful replication of a frat party, and likely not something you'd feel worth getting a sitter for. Lots of language, smoking, drinking, and disrespect to things you'd feel deserve it. My DH found an excuse to miss his, and we had fun going out on our own. He's found the whole "bonding with the guys" thing way over rated. They bond enough overseas, he feels no obligation to waste time with them when he's home. Maybe it's better outside of the pilot world, I don't know. That's a new subject to blog about all together though, about how the behavior and moral standards are lowered for pilots when it really should be the reverse. Another good subject, should the guys feel pressured go to social events they aren't interested in, for the sake of bonding, or getting "in" with the superiors? We chose our answer to that back in pilot training, and have been so much happier since!
Congratulations!!! I just ran across your blog on the Military Spouse Blogger page, by the way.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the party, are you throwing it??? We had two for my husband when he made 1LT. One was at the actual pinning (or Velcro ripping lol)and it was short and sweet. Literally, I just brought cake and people hung around if they wanted to.
We had a larger party at our house later where we had a 'low country boil' which is as close to our beloved cajun crawfish boil as we could do here farther north. It was real low key, we set up tables with newspaper and poured out the food as it was ready. We also set up yard games like washers and just had a good time. I would highly encourage you to be apart of whatever celebration goes on, even if it's just for a little while. :) Hope that helps!