How ya holdin' up?

It's the holidays- it's stressful. How are you holding up? I'm hanging in there, but only by a thread. I feel like my gift giving has been sub par this year. I haven't made any home made candies- which is a family tradition. I barely got Christmas cards out it security printed envelopes (I know super tacky) and I am typing this with a pile of tissues for my stuffy nose right by the laptop.

I'm gonna make a huge generalization, but I feel like holidays are extra hard on military families. Spouses, daddy's and mommy's are gone, and there usually isn't family right by to fill in the gap. DH got called out on a mission on Thanksgiving day, which ruined our Thanksgiving plans and our much needed 4 day weekend as a little family. I will admit that I might have been a teeny bit bitter when I thought how unfair it was that while most people were making preparations for family and friends to visit, we were making preparations for DH to leave. We held it together (barely) and DH was blessed with a short mission.

We are hoping, praying, wishing, and even asking Santa that DH will be here this Christmas. He has been working really, really long days, but he's here, so we are grateful for that. I can't help feel this sense of dread not knowing whether or not DH will be here. It really puts a damper on the holiday spirit. I hope that your loved ones will be home for the holidays. If their not, I hope your separated family is still surrounded with love, joy, and peace. I truly hope you are holding up ok. You will make it through and so will I. I know it, because it's our only option and we are strong enough to do it.

Happy Day of Thanks

I hope that your Thanksgiving is going to look like this.
And that your service member is home to join in on the celebrations.
If they aren't home, know that they are blessing lives everywhere and that I am grateful. Hope that you find a moment to feel grateful and moments filled with joy, even if your family isn't together. Happy Thanksgiving.

(all images are Norman Rockwell prints- he's one of my favorites)

Fisher House

Have you heard of the Fisher House? I didn't know about the organization until recently. A Fisher House recently opened at Dover Air Force Base for families of fallen soldiers who come to Dover Air Force Base to witness their loved one's dignified transfer.

Learn more about the Fisher House at http://www.fisherhouse.org and read about the Dover house here. Their purpose is to provide a "home away from home" for military families to be close to a loved one during hospitalization for an illness, disease or injury.

You can make a donation to this organization through the Combined Federal Campaign, so check them out if you are a government employee or if you want to learn about a great organization helping America's Military families.

Don't Quit

I ran across the "Don't Quit" poem again while I was reading one of my favorite books. I love the line in it that says, "And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far." Lately I have been feeling that success in certain areas of my life seems so far away, maybe you feel the same way about something in yours. This poem provided a good reminder that even though it may seem like we are walking on a treadmill uphill, just by walking the hill at all we are closer to the end than we realize. If we keep on moving on we have already won half the battle, if we quit, then we certainly don't win anything. So read the poem...and just don't quit.

DON'T QUIT

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit...

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

-Author Unknown

it's the thought.... right

A while back DH came home from work and proudly announced, "I got leave for August 9th and 10th."
He was waiting for a response when I finally said, "Ok, that's nice. What's going on then?"
"I got leave so we would actually be together on our anniversary this year."
"Uh, you know our anniversary is on August 13th right?"

In DH's defense all important dates in our family happen on a 9 or a 13, so he just got them mixed up. It really was thoughtful of him to make the effort to be together on our actual 5th anniversary.

Plus he totally surprised me with a 1 night get-a-way to NYC while his parents watched LB. This gave us a chance to see a Broadway show. I want to give a big shout out to New Jersey Transit who let all active duty military ride their rails for a discounted rate. This saved us around 50% on our train tickets into NYC. So next time you are headed to the city, and don't want to deal with traffic check out NJT.
Another shout out goes to the Museum of Art and Design on Columbus Circle. We were prepared to pay $15 per person to see an exhibit we had heard great things about. To our pleasant surprise, military personal and their families get in FREE. We ate dinner at their roof top restaurant with beautiful views of Broadway and Central Park. It never hurts to politely ask if there is any sort of military discount available. You just might be pleasantly surprised.

I always remember

While I was still lying in bed this morning, I was thinking about this exact day 9 years ago. It was a day that changed many lives and changed the course of United States History. For me, it was the day I changed from a 16 year old girl, into a young woman. As I evacuated the United States Capitol building that morning, I could see the smoke pouring out of the pentagon and into the sky. I felt uncertain as planes from Regan National Airport Circled above. Were they headed for the Capitol?

There was a moment among the chaos when I just stopped and looked as people ran down the Capitol steps. In that moment I saw the unbelievable look of horror in the eyes of some of those around me. That would not have been as shocking if it had been the eyes of my fellow classmates, but it was not, it was the eyes of adults. Adults who held powerful positions. The adults who ran our nation were terrified. This shocked me.

Bright and early the next morning my classmates and I made the trek back into Washington, DC to resume our duties as Senate Pages. This seemed natural since the Senate was in session, but upon arriving we realized that there were many who did not return to work that day. It was an honor to serve when my country needed me. I realized that the next few months of my life were going to be the hardest I had ever experienced. I would never again see the world through innocent child's eyes, but I would see the world with eyes that know neither age nor position make a human great. It is one's character, especially in times of stress, that makes a human great. I have never felt like a child since that day. I still pray for those who lost loves ones that day, you are not forgotten.




I promise to lighten up. I really am NOT this serious of a person. I have a few funny posts headed your way soon.

Put the Grills in the Bathroom, it's Typhoon Time

My husband always seems to be gone for the exciting things, Tuesday was no exception when a big typhoon was coming and he was TAD to Rhode Island. When wives are home alone it is easy to get out of the loop. In fact if it weren't for the fact that I got involved in a mommy work out group and the leader e-mailed that we might not have class on typhoon day I would have seen my bbq grill flying through the window before I knew what hit me, well, that probably wouldn't have happened, but you know what I mean.

On typhoon day three other single wives and two people from church were all in communication about the typhoon and wanted to make sure I had everything I needed and even offered a place to stay during the storm.

The point of this story is that sometimes when we move around so much it is easy to think, I'm sick of this putting myself out there crap, making new friends, joining new organizations, again, but it is worth it in the end. Because the relationships we make over and over become the very things that save us in our deployments, TADs, baby births, holidays, and maybe even save our windows from a bbq grill.

just a thought

I was driving off base the other day and saw a vinyl quote pasted across the back window of a minivan. It said, "Live a life worth their sacrifice." I thought, "whose sacrifice". Then I looked at the license plates which said USO. What a thought provoking statement. It definitely makes me want to live my life to the fullest, because I certainly am grateful for the sacrifices that our military families make.

Home is where.........

Often one of the first questions asked when meeting someone new is, "Where are ya from?". I have always had a definitive answer to this question. I am from Idaho. No it's not in the mid west and no I didn't say Iowa. I have never understood those people that respond, "oh I'm just a military brat." Who doesn't have a home? That's what I have always thought.

Home is where the (fill in your branch of service) sends us. I have seen so many cute signs and blogs with this saying on it. If you truly believe this, I am so impressed. I think that it is amazing that you can turn any place you live, even if for just a few months, into your home. I will never utter this statement. For me, it just is not true. Sure, I live where ever the Air Force sends us, but it's not my home.

My home is Idaho. Don't get me wrong, I have not lived in Idaho my whole life, and I haven't lived there for the past 3 years, but that's where my heart belongs. I must be a believer of the phrase "home is where the heart is". To me, home is not a house or even just one place. It is an all encompassing state of being. There is no place better than being home.

Seeing the beauty of the mountains and the movement of the wheat fields, of my home, puts my heart at ease. In a world that is filled with conflict, competition, and sorrow, my soul is filled with delight when I stand on the top of the mountain and cannot see another human. I am surrounded by family and sweet memories that give me strength to carry on. Those moments, at home, are the balm that heals my troubled heart and help me make it through the lonely, hopeless nights of worry. There is no place on earth where I feel more at peace with myself and with my maker that at my home.

I cannot create this feeling where ever I go. It just isn't possible for me. Sometimes I worry that LB won't have a home. This thought breaks my heart. I think everyone, especially my own son, deserves a place of peace. I pray that he will find his home. It doesn't have to be where we live and it doesn't have to be my home, but it does have to be a place that restores his spirit and his faith in man kind.

Where's your home? Is it where the military sends you? What keeps you going when the times are tough? Here are a few pictures I've taken at my home.

This is the view from my parents front porch. See why I love it?

Military Talk

I think I'm going to make up my own homemaking language. I'm going to speak this language to my husband when he comes home from work giving him no prior training in this strange dialect. I'm going to tell him the intricate details of my day in homemakingeeze and assume he understands exactly what I am talking about and completely disregard any glazed and dazed looks he might have.

My language might go something like this: honey buns, this morning I woke up at a bakers dozen and sifted out the snarles from the snares, then the bear cub had a pb & j at the table while we cammed with memaw and pepaw. We dabbled with down dog before the little monkey destroyed my feng shui. At give me five we brought home the baby bumblebee and snapped a shot for a new post and that's pretty much all I got. What do you think about that?

And when he hesitates with a response, I think I'll complain about how he seems uninterested in my conversation then maybe, just maybe I can get him to stop talking military talk at home, as long as I stop talking homemakingeeze :-)

One Moment in History

I have experience a few monumental moments in our country's history first hand. At the age of 16, I ran down the steps of the United States Capitol in an emergency evacuation. It was September 11, 2001. I saw smoke billowing up from the gaping hole in the Pentagon. I was in a joint session of congress where President Bush addressed our nation. These experiences, while monumental, are not the subject of this post. Yesterday I stood on a 100 degree tarmac watching an American soldier's remains being returned to his home country. This dignified transfer is the first one I have ever seen first hand. Dignified transfers have been occurring for years. They, however, have not been viewed publicly until the policy was changed in April 2009. Watching the transfer was one moment in history that I will never forget.

As I stood there waiting and watching I could help but put myself in that wife's shoes. She was an absolutely beautiful girl, only 19 years old. I know that she had probably gone over the moment when she would see her husband again a million times in her head. She thought about what she would wear when he saw her. She imagined how safe she would feel in his arms, and how sweet his kiss would taste. The thoughts of reuniting are what keep us going when we are scared and lonely. They bring us comfort when we grow weary of waiting. I'm sure she never imagined what she actually experienced.

The flightline was eerily quiet. No planes were taxiing or moving, only one small plane landed as I watched the honor guard walking toward the plane. It felt like hours passed by before they were at the plane. When they reached the flag covered transfer case, they honorably moved the fallen soldier from the plane onto a platform, which would then lower him to the ground. There was a brief moment when the case was there all by itself at the end of the platform. It made my whole body feel empty seeing it there. The soldiers looked burdened by the weight that they carried. Not so much physically but emotionally weighed down by carrying one of their comrades home. The fallen soldier was given one last slow solute, after which he was placed into a van and taken to the mortuary.

That was it, that simple, that quick, that honorable. The fallen soldier's family had only 24-48 hours notice to be there to greet their loved one's remains. I could not help feeling how unfair it was that they had traveled so far and so quickly only to see their most loved one from such a distance. How terrible to be so close, but to be out of reach. They will have to wait until their husband/son is returned to his hometown before they will be allowed to see and touch him. The wife was amazing and strong. She did her duty, she meet her husband as soon as he got home, just like she promised. She was there even though it was the hardest thing she has ever done. She has such faith in America and our military that I am awestruck.

It was one moment in history. One soldier who didn't come home the way he promised he would, but he still came home. I am saddened to have seen a soul lost at war, but honored to have seen that America honors those who die for her.


*Update* CNN wrote an article about this soldier that you can read here. My favorite sentence is, "So did Emily."



Video from youtube. This plane was different then the one I witnessed, but still shows the ceremony. There is a movie staring Kevin Bacon that is called "Taking Chance." It is about bringing a fallen marine home. It's very interesting and heart breaking. I watched it while DH was in the desert, which I do NOT recommend.



Image from defense.gov
This plane is similar to the one I saw with the transfer case looking lonely on the platform.

Behind the Uniform

Whenever I drive on base and see a group of soldiers walking down the street I get butterflies in my stomach and think, I am part of that, and I’m proud of it. I may not be in the uniform, but I am behind the uniform, the one cleaning the uniform, feeding the uniform, making sure the uniform feels loved, appreciated, fulfilled.

The moments when I think I’d rather be back home, living in a house a few streets away from the grandparents, I remind myself of the feeling I get when I feel a part of the military family, and then I realize that what I do is important, because if I wasn’t willing to support my soldier by traveling around the world to foreign lands, being a single mom sometimes, or whatever it is, he wouldn’t be the support he needs to be to his Country. And that is the truth!

movies for the ladies

DH has been gone for over 2 weeks now. He was supposed to be home yesterday. I'm not really surprised that he didn't get home on time. I have to admit that I am REALLY hoping he will be home for the 4th of July. We were apart on Valentines, St Patty's, and Memorial Day. Is it asking too much to be together for some simple celebration? Perhaps it is, but I'm asking anyway.

So what do you do to fill the time when your spouse is away? LB takes up a lot of my time and so does taking care of the house and yard, but there is still that quiet time at night that you would usually spend together. These past 2 weeks I've been spending my alone time working on this blog, reading a book, watching chick flicks, and tonight I was even desperate enough to clean the carpets.

It's true I hit up the red box and rent movies that I know DH would rather not watch with me. I find it ironic that I rent the most sappy and emotional movies that I ever watch, when I am alone. I think it just makes me more aware of my singleness, but I do it anyway. So here's what I've seen and what I think about them.

Dear John



I rented this movie because I like Amanda Seyfried. I didn't even know it was about a soldier until I started watching it. Then I realized that maybe it was hitting a little to close to home and I must admit that it had me crying. Isn't that what chick flicks are supposed to do to you? I would recommend it if you are in the mood for tug at your heart kinda movie.

The Young Victoria



I really loved this movie. It is about real love, not sex or lust. She is a strong independent woman who found a man to stand beside her. It left me wanting to know more about the life of Victoria. This movie was well worth the $1 I spent.

An Education



This movie was interesting. There were definitely some moments that made me uncomfortable. However, the message of the movie got me thinking and wondering about my own education. I like a movie that gets me thinking.

You might have noticed that we have added some pages. Soon we hope to be including topics of more substance. For example a list of resouces for spouse jobs, PCSing tips, and companies that offer military discounts. Want to help compile the resources or have something that you think should be included, send us an email millywife@gmail.com

Military Moment

Well I’m blond, so I’m allowed to have blond moments, but when my blond moments bring in the military I guess the only thing to call them is military moments. When I was engaged to my mil man I was asked by my boss at work what branch of the military he was in. I replied, “He’s in the military.” Then he asked again, “What branch?” My response, “The military.” Well, Marine and military both start with a m don’t they? I cringe to think about it now, he probably wanted to fire me right on the spot fearing my stupidity would spread to my day to day work.

I've learned a few things since then, like the separate branches of the military.

What's your most embarrassing military moment, I will feel better if you have one to share too.

Fun Friday

Every Friday I try to do something fun that is out of the routine. It's nice to make it feel like the weekend. This is especially important when DH is gone (like today), because my Saturday really isn't much different from the rest of the week, unless I make it that way. For fun Friday today, we are having my friend's 2 little boys over. LB can play with them, while their mom and dad get to go on a date (now that sounds like fun to me). If we aren't partying it up, then someone else should be, right. I thought I'd include this photo of LB. It might be fun for YOU to see.

One 5 minute shower turned into 10 minutes of cleaning up LB's mess. I'm still not sure that getting clean was worth it. Any tips for taking care of yourself and the little ones when there is no backup in town? I am all ears!

The Moving Curse

Does this sight seem familiar? This is right across the street from my house. No I don't live on base where people move regularly. I live in a real "local" inhabited neighborhood. DH has told me I have a curse. I think he's right. Every time I become really great friends with someone it seems like they move. Now this is to be expected in the military however we aren't talking years or even a year until they move. It seems like they move within a few months of our friendship growing close.

This friend is extra special because...she is local. That's right. She grew up in the area. She can tell me the best doctors, AC repairman, body shop, restaurant, ect. She is a wealth of knowledge. Oh I will miss her. To top it off, she has a little boy who loves to play with LB. The good news is that at least we were neighbors for a little while and hopefully friends for along time. I hate the moving curse almost as much as I hate moving.

The First is Always the Hardest

I think that tonight this statement applies to 2 situations. This first post is hard, because I want to write like you already know who I am (maybe you do) and that requires me making a lot of assumptions. So instead of trying to write some wonderful introduction I'm just going to write a post like I've been blogging for ages (I probably have been in my head anyway). So here we go.

The First Night is Always the Hardest.

Dear Husband (DH) leaves lots. He's a flier, which means his schedule is NEVER predictable or consistent or even remotely logical (at least not to me). When a mission comes up, he gets assigned. Sometimes the missions go, sometimes they don't, and often the times or dates change. Regardless of that, there is one thing I can always count on, the lonely feeling the first night. After my little boy (LB) is put to bed the house is just empty. I hate it. The tooth brush holder looks empty with 1 brush. The bed looks empty with no one in it. My heart feels empty.

By the next morning single mom starts to take over as we adjust to life with DH on the road. I realize that what ever is going to get done is going to have to be done by me. It's nice to have a sense of purpose and keep moving on, even if you feel a little empty. The first night is always the hardest- at least for me.

Do you do something to help you or your kids transition into life without your spouse? What helps you make it through the lonely times?