Not That Different

We're not that different, you and me.  For the last week I have thought that hundreds of times.  Everyone has something in common.  We all want to be loved, accepted, and appreciated.  This last week I have felt surprisingly alone and different from everyone else.  (Let me tell ya, with DH deployed and my 2 adorable kids, I am never alone- not even a trip to the bathroom). 

As some of you know, maybe not too many because the media doesn't report much about lives lost in the military,  there have been 3 airplane crashes in the last week in the Middle East.  DH flies the same type of air craft that was the first to crash.  He was, in fact, flying at the exact same time that the plane went down.  Thankfully, he was safe and hopefully able to help get crews to the sight of the crash more quickly.  I waited as patiently as I could for the names to be released.  I sent and received a few messages from dear military friends saying, "Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you and praying for your family."  Its a strange thing to do.  Of course, I want to show love and support but I don't want to sound like I am searching for information- which I am not.  I fully understand and appreciate the importance of families being notified in person.  I felt so alone, because I for some reason thought many people would be as concerned as I was. 

I now realize that while this event was consuming my time, it wasn't really mentioned in the media, so of course it's hard for people to show support when they know nothing.  I fully understand that DH is at war.  He is living and flying in a combat zone.  So maybe you are wondering why I am so surprised and upset when planes crash and lives are lost.  I, like you, operate under the sense that my husband is safe- that at the end of the 6 months he will come home and still be himself.  How could I live otherwise?  Can you imagine what kind of life it would be to be consumed with worry and fear?    My husband worked with these men in the same building.  What does your husband do?  Lets say he is an attorney.  He works with many people at his law firm.  Lets say he had a court date and so did another attorney from his office at a different location.  If something happened at the other courthouse, and the co-worker never came home, surely your heart would simply be broken.  You would morn for the loss of the other family and be so humbled and grateful that your husband had been spared.  That's how miliatry wives feel too (well at least this one).  Our husbands go to work, leave on deployments, and we absolutely assume that they will come home safe.  

My dad called that evening and as we talked he figured that I had been busy with people checking in to see how we are doing and to make sure DH was safe.  The answer was no, not busy at all.  Only a handful of military friends had made contact with me.   That was the part that I didn't understand, how could people not know that I just needed someone to ask if I was okay too.  The lesson that I have learned from this is that we are the same- me and you.  Just because I show up with a smiling face the next day doesn't mean that I don't need to hear kind words of love.  It might feel awkward, but do not let that deter you. Unfortunately another Air Force plane has crashed.  You better believe that I went through I list of everyone I knew that had been associated with that air craft and sent them a simple "just thinking of you" message.  After all, don't we just want to know that we are loved and appreciated, that the sacrifice my husband and my family makes does not go unnoticed?  

My heart and prayers go out to all those military men and women whose lives have been lost serving our country, especially those who were recently killed in action in.  They lost their lives, and their loved ones lost the life they once knew.  

Capt Cyr's Dignified Transer via AFMAO website

If you would like to read more about our service men and women who gave all, here are a few links:

The Department of Defense Official News Releases- This website lists the names of causualties from all branches of service

Information about the crew of the KC-135 Crash

Photos from the MC-12 Memorial